God really IS listening.

Well to follow-up from my last blog the following week was a nightmare. We went from a great Saturday, to a horrible Sunday, to a good day Monday, to a bad day Tuesday, to a good day on Wednesday (evening was another story), to a worse Thursday, to a good Friday. There are more ups on and downs in my life right now than a Six Flags roller coaster.

Dan and I talked about making a few changes to our Sunday routine. He is going to stay home with Z and have some boy bonding  time while I head to Dad's to take him to Church and breakfast. Less stress on all of us which is really important to me. My time with Dad is limited and I hate spending the entire visit disciplining Zander.

Tuesday was a bad day for Z. His 1st grade teacher called to tell me Z was becoming very aggressive and pushing tables because he was angry. He was able to calm down on his own which made me think he was finally starting to work through some of his anger issues by using the anger management plan in place at school. By Wednesday morning, Z seemed to have his head on correct. Pleasant attitude, willing to do chores, out the door for school with no issues at all. Huge step in the right direction in my opinion!

Wednesday afternoon my cell phone rang and noticed it was Z's school. My heart just sank. What did Z do now? His teacher called to praise Z about what a wonderful day he had. I was so proud of my lil guy! So I decided to take Z to McDonald's for dinner, just the two of us, to reward him for his awesome day. After dinner, Z was to start Religion class that evening. We had a long talk about what I expected out of him and he reassured me that he would be on his best behavior. I wanted to believe him but he's burned me in the past. Well, my gut was right. The first 10 minutes into PSR, Z went into demonic mode.  Refusal, verbal spouting of hate and dislike for anything and everything having to do with where we were at, what we were doing, etc. Oh, what an embarrassing night! When the classes left to go to their classroom I literally dropped Z off and ran. By the end of PSR, Z was a completely different person. He was in love with his teacher, he loved "larigion" class, and wanted to know when can he come back. Could it be, we are on to a new Z?!?!?! Miracles do happen!

Thursday afternoon I received a call from the school social worker. Z had to be restrained, he punched another kid, he kicked and punched the school walls and lockers. I really wanted to purchase a one way ticket to anywhere but here by this point. Not only was I frustrated and angry but I also felt like a complete failure. Why am I going through this? What did I do to deserve this? How am I going to get through to him? Maybe he would be better off with his biological dad? I had a lot of soul searching to do. I wasn't sure I could deal with another day of this. But I somehow found the strength to carry on.

So by Friday, I was completely numb. And Z left for school in a fantastic mood. My head is spinning with his mood swings. I don't know whether to run and hide or praise him for making good choices. By the end of the day, Z was back to his mean, bossy self even though he had a good day at school. He spent the weekend with his Dad and came back just as mean, bossy, and sassy as before he left.

I went into the new week with my head down and teeth gritted just preparing myself for another horrid week. Surprisingly, Zander had a decent week. After everything from the week prior, I couldn't be happier for a quiet week. Z even took his therapist advice to heart and used it in school to help him remain calm.

He went to PSR last week after a week off for their Parish Mission and was excited to return. A complete 180 from two weeks prior. Don't get me wrong, Z isn't an angel but I see that he is trying to make better choices. Even today he said how upset he was that Religion was only one night a week, it should be on Tuesday AND Wednesdays. Such a huge step in the right direction. God really is listening. Praise God for small feats!